You bring your all to every call.
You’re great at helping everyone else fix their problems.
But are you finding yourself flaked out on the couch at the end of the coaching day, feeling totally spent?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
A big reason why coaches do what they do is because a) they love helping others, and b) they love the sense of personal satisfaction attained through helping others – both wonderful qualities.
The thing is though, we often give, give and give more, at the detriment of keeping our own tank filled.
Of course this happens unintentionally – as coaches we know the importance of keeping life in balance along with business pursuits.
So why is it that we still commonly find ourselves with no fuel in the tank for ourselves?
Giving and Taking
In this example, think of a balloon as a metaphor for determining a happy balance of energy that you need to sustain yourself through each day.
As you send breath into the balloon to blow it up, it reaches a point where it gets risky to continue giving more – or the balloon’s going to burst.
Yet if the balloon doesn’t receive enough air, it’s not going to be as bouncy or light, instead it’ll have weight to it and will get dragged to the ground more easily.
Where does your balance point lie between giving too much, and not getting enough back in?
For example, where in your life are you saying ‘yes’ to others, despite you knowing you’re running on empty yourself?
What’s your greater intention behind the ‘giving’ that you do in life? Are you doing it with the expectation to receive something back (a common cause behind energy drain, when disappointment prevails).
What daily practices have you (or haven’t you) built into your routine to ensure you’re refueling?
Breathe as if you mean it
As long as we’re alive, we’re breathing right? For the most part, though our breathing is done as an automatic habit. A very helpful habit, yes!
Yet when you can add conscious awareness onto the breath, it multiplies its power to revitalise and nourish your whole mind, body and spirit.
Try this: during client interactions, bring your attention to noticing your own breath in and out. You might notice how the body expands on the inhale (like the filling up of the balloon) and how the body contracts again on the exhale.
This is going to do the exact opposite of what you’re likely thinking: But if my attention is on me, won’t that take the focus off my client?
No. Instead, you’ll find this breathing practice grounds and centres your body and energy like an anchor, making you even more mentally present and available for your client – without your energy being drained.
Importantly, you’ll be less ‘pulled’ into your clients’ problems and emotions and more likely to remain watchful and observant over them instead, resulting in you being able to offer more strategic and creative solutions.
Who’s in your circle?
The saying coined by Jim Rohn also applies to you and your clients: ‘You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’
Are you clear on who your ideal clients are that you want to be working with? Have you written a list of their attributes?
In my own business, about a third of my working week is devoted to my online membership program. I’ve written a very specific list of the qualities of the type of person I want to attract into the program, because I know that I’m really passionate about supporting these kinds of people. It literally gives me energy to know that I’m serving these people.
Knowing my ideal customer means that I can get really specific when I’m promoting my membership program, so that it attracts the kind of people that I thrive on working with.
Getting clear about the qualities of the people you want to most surround yourself with, is going to translate into attracting more of those people to you.
Remember, like energy attracts like energy. Energy is vibration and you attract those things that you’re in vibrational resonance with.
What this means is that those same qualities that reside within the clients that you want to work with, also need to be present within you.
Energy flows where awareness goes
After a client session, are you already going into a default mode of self-criticism? Or client judgment?
How do you feel during and after doing all the other bits and pieces required for a coaching business (marketing, bookkeeping, meetings, filing…I know, the list is endless!).
It’s worth paying attention to how you’re habitually thinking and feeling as you go about your daily tasks, and which tasks tend to soak up more energy than others.
Ultimately, when it comes to investing our time into the tasks and activities that are highly important to the business, we want them to make us feel good.
We want the brain to link up pleasure to any activity that we want to improve on. It’s going to help to keep us wanting to go back and do that activity next time – and be passionate about it.
If certain tasks feel like a drag, then it’ll be challenging to get the motivation up to do those tasks next time.
Of course, there are always things that you’re going to need to do that you may not love, so the key here is to celebrate doing them anyway.
Give yourself a big pat on the back, say to yourself, ‘Well done!’, and reward yourself (massage anyone?) for accomplishing any activity that you want to improve on and enjoy more.
This is going to be so helpful in fueling you with energy to go back and do it time and time again, without feeling zapped from it.
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Happiness Online with Erin Ashley
Keep the pathway to happiness simple - be guided to move your body, notice your breath, be aware of your thoughts and feelings, and choose kindness.