Family Constellations

  • Post comments:0 Comments
Share this:

I’m going to take a BOLD leap here and propose that most, if not all, adults on the planet are currently suffering from trauma they experienced in childhood.
We’ve all had experiences when we were kids that produced psychological injury or pain. AND as we’ve travelled through life we’ve been adding to these pain bodies!

What’s really struck me is that it’s not the socially perceived severity of a situation that defines what is traumatic and what is not. We each have our own criteria for what experiences have called us to separate from others and/or from self.

There are the obvious triggers that most people are aware of as traumatic experiences, like physical abuse, sexual abuse, and witnessing death, to name a few. Then there are ones that are less obvious, like watching your parents go through divorce, witnessing a parent close down to living a full life, or having parents that work all the time. And if you’re prepared to go there, trauma can even be inherited.

family constellations

I had never realized how much trauma I was carrying from my past until I started working with Melanie Spears. Melanie is the creator of the Gratitude Diary AND also happens to be a fantastically talented Family Constellations Practitioner.

When I did my first family constellation session I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I trusted Mel and just jumped right in with both feet… WOAH!!!!

As an Adult, I truly believe that my parents and their parents did the very best job they could have done with the resources that were available to them at the time. As a parent myself, I say the same about me, but there are going to be things that I’m doing wrong by my daughter that I don’t see.

As kids, some things just hurt us. It’s not about whether it should hurt us or not. It’s about accepting the pain our inner child really feels deep down. Holding yourself and saying, “It’s going to be OK. It’s OK and important to feel the emotions you are feeling. You are OK. I love you”.

But, I realize this can be a bit tricky to facilitate at a deep healing level on your own!


Enter Family Constellations

Lately, I’ve been loving tools for transformation that push the boundaries of what we commonly know as mainstream human-to-human communication.

Perception, emotion, sensing, and embodiment really light me up.
I’ve been too much in my head for decades now and I’m excited to experience something different, something like magic. To me Family Constellations feel like Powerful, Transformational Magic.

For those of you who also like to play with magic, this article is for you.

I’ve asked my good friend and talented practitioner, Melanie Spears, to tell us a bit about Family Constellations and to point us to some great resources for those of you who feel called to dive in and explore further.

Here’s what Melanie had to say…

Who founded Family Constellation?

Bert Hellinger
Image attribution: CeStu

Family Constellations is an alternative therapeutic method that draws on elements of family systems therapy. It was created and founded by Bert Hellinger (pictured right) in the United States in the 1980s.

Bert is 80 now and is still practicing!

What is a Family Constellation?

Wikipedia has a nice summary.

“In a single session, a Family Constellation attempts to reveal a unrecognized dynamic that spans multiple generations in a given family and to resolve the deleterious (harmful) effects of that dynamic by encouraging the subject, through representatives, to encounter and accept the factual reality of the past.”

You can read more from Wikipedia here.

What is it that makes Family Constellations so amazingly transformational?

Well, it’s known as the field of phenomenology. We don’t ACTUALLY know how it works, only that it does because the emotional body is activated in the same way it was at the time of the trauma. Only this time, there are people to support and hold space for the energy, hence it’s release.

What type of client/presenting problems are Family Constellations perfect for?

  • Trauma
  • Sexual abuse
  • Separation issues
  • Early death
  • Dysfunctional families

How easy/hard has it been to create a business from Family Constellations?

Easy!! Because it’s new, fresh and cutting edge.
But also, I’m a particularity good therapist 😅

BENAY, laughing: It’s true! You sure are Melanie!

What type of person should seriously consider training in Family Constellations?

Well, you really need to do a lot of work on your own ego because the “Work“ needs a facilitator who does not project their own mind onto the situation.

You need to approach the work as an exploration and discovery rather than being goal or outcome-orientated.

The mind can be sometimes over-analytical and try to assess.
Assessments only put a box around the healing potential.

Is there a Family Constellations certification?


I trained with Yilditz Sethi who provides Family Constellation Practitioner training in Brisbane, Australia. She is awesome and very grounded.

How can people learn more about Family Constellations?

Australasian Systemic Constellation Intensive is an annual event with all the best healers and therapists in the world. It’s worth checking out if you feel inspired by this article. And here are two books I recommend:

How can someone experience a Family Constellation with you?

Melanie SpearsMy workshops will eventually resume in Australia, USA and Bali.
I also offer 1 on 1 sessions via Skype or Zoom.
Please check my website for details.

Where can people find other Family Constellation practitioners?

What’s your view?

  • Is Family Constellation a tool you have in your coaching toolbelt?
  • Is it one you might like to add?
  • Do you have any books, websites, case studies, schools you’d like to add into the mix? 💗
Benay Dyor

Benay Dyor

Life's a Journey. I don't always get it right but I'm having FUN! For my JOB I help coaches shine their Light in the world. I do this through a range of enjoyable, collaborative projects with friends I love and admire. Check out The Coach Guardian, Life Coach Office, and Passion Maps.

Benay Dyor

Benay Dyor

Life's a Journey. I don't always get it right but I'm having FUN! For my JOB I help coaches shine their Light in the world. I do this through a range of enjoyable, collaborative projects with friends I love and admire. Check out The Coach Guardian, Life Coach Office, and Passion Maps.

Leave a Reply

Sign up to get a weekly roundup of new articles