On the journey to becoming balanced and whole human beings, occasionally the clouds part just enough to allow the glimmering of the sun’s rays to cast a bright light over your story.
This is exactly what happened for me just yesterday.
I was not feeling well. I was out of balance, and I did not know why.
Having just returned to my writer’s sanctuary after many months away, I was full of joy, excitement and inspiration about what was growing in my country garden boxes. My mind was in creator mode. I began to see and feel the full potential of the beauty possible both inside and outside my home.
I took action, making to-do lists, setting priorities, researching my ideas, visiting Instagram, Pinterest, Google.
I’m a big-picture girl, so whenever I set out to manifest something, I find it hard to contain the vision to a small outcome. I create the whole story in my mind and then work backwards to achieve the final result.
For me, manifesting is fun!
And yet, on this particular fresh and sunny Tasmanian day, the more fun I had, the more out of balance I was becoming.
Still, I persisted. I just kept doing and doing, making phone calls, weeding garden beds, turning the worms, picking tomatoes, and digging up and taking photos of my potatoes. My mind was buzzing with questions: perhaps I need bees now that there are flowers. Maybe I need a greenhouse? What about cherry trees?
And all the while, I was feeling more and more stressed!
God was gracious on this particular day. For 10 seconds, I came into my witness self and asked myself the question: “Mel, what’s making you feel out of balance?”
I didn’t have time to wait for the answer, so I kept doing my whirlwind creator dance and moved on to another inspirational idea.
Soon, I needed a pee interval, and in the space, a voice other than my own simply said slow down!
I felt this as a presence other than me, such as a kind angel or wise person looking down, lending her advice.
I usually don’t listen to these voices, but on this occasion, I took heed and turned the sauna on, retreated into it and just became present to the moment.
The answer to my question about what was making me feel out of balance came to me: I was making me feel out of balance. Not some mystery force, collective unconsciousness, virus or hidden burden. Not the stress of my flu or fear of death or worry about the future in these uncertain times. No force outside of myself was making me feel out of balance.
I was the sole perpetrator. Just me. Me overriding myself, again!
At the time, the coronavirus had just become a global pandemic. There certainly was a feeling of uncertainty in the air, with much upheaval to be ‘triggered’ about. And what I realised on this sunny autumn day, amid global change, was that staying in my expanded creative self has become a learned tool for self-protection.
If I remain focused on what I am creating, I can live inside a different frequency without becoming a victim to uncontrollable circumstances happening around me.
When I am authentically orientated to living in Gratitude for my own life, it acts as my energetic shield to any fear-based or negative thoughts. I have made a career out of teaching this stuff so why was I feeling out of balance?
Gracefully, she came. She, with the answers to my question. She reminded me gently. “Honey, you have been unwell (recovering from the flu). You need rest. Please stop and relax. Integrate, feel, consider, adapt and resonate.”
And so I did. I just dropped. For two days, I put away all my thoughts like dropping untidy toys on the floor into a box. I just stopped.
And like magic, balance was waiting for me in a moment. I felt him immediately. He was there all along, but I hadn’t allowed him space to find me. There are moments in life where the most intelligent thing to do is nothing – even if you are inspired!
Since this day in the garden, I have taken up the almost daily practice of checking in on my balance state.
These questions have become my friends:
Where am I in my internal balance?
Where do I need to be?
In the story above, on reflection, I’d say I was operating 80 percent from my masculine, self-driven, creative brain self and only 20 percent from my feminine, feeling, nurturing self.
So my answer to Question 1 is that I am functioning 80% in my masculine and only 20 % in my feminine.
My soul, however, needed to be more oriented towards the feminine and less towards the masculine. I had just completed a LONG road trip and was nursing the flu. As soon as I realized that my over-enthusiastic masculine self was overriding me, I was able to take loving action and balance my own soul.
This is what I call natural adaptation which creates simple resonance, allowing soul alignment.
Traditionally, your inner masculine and feminine behave in the following ways:
Wise men and women remember that in the feminine part of our soul, we are loving vessels and sacred chalices. Yet how often do we allow ourselves to be filled?
We are also warrior gods, creator kings and game changers. Yet when do we lay down our swords to rest?
Pay attention to the needs of your own soul by checking in with who you are being and what you are needing.
Then give thanks for the gift of free will.
The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. Anonymous
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. Dolly Parton
It is better to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken. Aristotle
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. Thomas Merton
To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short. Confucius
There are moments in life where the most intelligent thing to do is … nothing. Melanie Spears
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