I’ve been thinking about Gurus a lot lately. When I started coaching back in 2006, becoming a Guru was my dream. I remember being in awe of coaches like Tony Robbins and others with massive followings and packed stadiums for their workshops.
Fourteen years later it’s not my dream at all. Being a God-like figure sitting at the top with largely co-dependent followers at the bottom…YUCK!!!
For me – that egoic construct no longer feels driven by self love but by the fear of wanting to be seen a certain way by others. By going beyond my ego and tapping into my innate passions, talents, and gifts I’ve discovered that I have so much more to offer the coaching community and the world by not being another Guru, by not being like anyone else – by just being myself. But, it took me years to get to this realization.
The Guru Model
I can think of several occasions in the past, where, in conversations with a Guru I was following, I felt awestruck and a little unworthy of being in his/her presence. I felt like I needed this Guru in order for me to be successful.
He/she was going to fix me and make me whole by telling me exactly what to do. I abdicated my responsibilities and I became attached… AND we cannot be free when we outsource our free will nor when we become attached.
Add into the mix:
- Manipulative, profit-driven marketing strategies.
- Coaching businesses DESIGNED to perpetuate co-dependant relations with the coach.
- Product ascension ladders DESIGNED to keep clients wanting more, needing more, buying more.
So, consciously or unconsciously, as a whole, the coaching industry is at risk of losing credibility. As a collective we are making people feel like they need us – to feel incomplete without us.
No wonder most new coaches are struggling. Deep down, your soul actually knows that you and your clients are perfect already. We are all always on our perfect soul’s journey. It’s hard to reconcile selling a “fix” when nothing is broken!
The Model Can Change
As a coach, you have been trained to mirror, to reflect back your client’s darkness and light, so that they can remember who they are and can make conscious choices about who they want to be. Plus you have tools that can help them fast-track down the path they choose. You are not supposed to have all the answers. You are here to help your clients find the answers in them and plug them into resources that are in alignment with where they want to go.
I’d like to remind you that you have permission to break the current mold, to explore and create what coaching is and how it shows up in the world.
Next Level of Human Evolution
As the world moves into the next level of human evolution, coaches will be needed more than ever. Coaches can replace middle managers and flatten hierarchical structures. Coaches, rather than bosses, and front-of-the-room teachers can help facilitate self-empowerment for people of all ages. People would take back personal responsibility and rediscover joy and pride in their work.
There will be less and less need for God-like gurus as the world becomes more self-responsible and happy.
This means more room for true coaches who listen, who encourage personal responsibility, and who let people learn from their own mistakes.
We choose our coaches and we choose the coach we want to be.
I no longer choose to buy into the Guru model. I invite you to do the same.
Benay Dyor
Life's a Journey. I don't always get it right but I'm having FUN! I love helping coach changemakers shine their Light, even more, in the world. I do this through a range of enjoyable projects including Ready-Made Coaching Tools, The Coach Guardian, My Coach Office, and my One-to-one, 4-week, Re-Ignite Program (for tenured Changemakers in Transition).
Benay Dyor
Life's a Journey. I don't always get it right but I'm having FUN! I love helping coach changemakers shine their Light, even more, in the world. I do this through a range of enjoyable projects including Ready-Made Coaching Tools, The Coach Guardian, My Coach Office, and my One-to-one, 4-week, Re-Ignite Program (for tenured Changemakers in Transition).
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This Post Has 7 Comments
It is a fascinating article. Authenticity, passion, clarity of purpose, confidence and conviction actually oozes out of your expression. I really enjoyed and agreed to almost everything you said here. I surely want to work with you.
It feels so important to me now to have courage and try to find the words from my soul’s truth. Thank you Asit for hearing me and joining in the dialogue.
Yeah!! Timely and concise truth-telling (with a permission reminder I really needed).
I am grateful for the part that guru-coaches played — and still play — in the human evolution you refer to, Benay.
But now, to each her gifts — there is a need (and plenty of room) for different kinds of coaches. Thanks!
Love this Heidi! Yes, lots of GRATITUDE to Gurus AND Permission to find other ways. xox
“We cannot be free when we outsource our free will nor when we become attached”. My whole being SCREAMS this Benay! This is such an amazing article and it’s wisdom can be applied to every facet of life. How rich we would all be if we realized that everyone has something to teach and something to learn.
“How rich we would all be if we realized that everyone has something to teach and something to learn.” This is Beautiful Kim! I’m going to share it in my Facebook Group! xox
Wonderful. Just wonderful! All of this article. and then the short description of a true coach: ….” listen, who encourage personal responsibility, and who let people learn from their own mistakes. ….And happy” ..