Loch Venacher
From my retreat and view
I make my own break through
And I might see things anew
From my retreat and view
Setting the Scene
Last month, Benay introduced the concept of Harmonizing Wellbeing Coaching, developed by my friend, Dawn Breslin. This article will give you an insider view of one of Dawn’s transformational retreats from my perspective as a participant, and student of Harmonizing. If you are considering running retreats in your coaching businesses this article is sure to inspire and delight!
The retreat took place in an idyllic setting, Lendrick Lodge, in Scotland, UK. Set in a natural woodland with the most beautiful natural plunge pool, the whole of Harmonizing helps individuals get in harmony with nature. Like nature, humans follow seasons and cycles.
Lessons from Nature
We have so much we can learn from nature. Take the simple tree. Each year they shed their leaves in autumn giving a majestic display of every hue of reds, browns, oranges, greens, and yellow. A majestic display of shedding what you no longer need. Decluttering is so good for the mind, the soul and the bank balance, especially if the things can be recycled so someone else can benefit from them.
As well as encouraging us to declutter, trees can teach us some amazing lessons. Too often when people have become upwardly mobile, they forget their roots. Although I was originally married to a dentist, with all the middle-class trappings that brought, I never forgot where I came from. I was born in a tiny two bedroomed terrace house with no inside bathroom or toilet. To go to the toilet, you had to go outside into the freezing cold in winter to use a potty! Bath-time was a tin bath in front of a roaring coal fire, if we were lucky.
Before my brother was born, we had moved into another rented house but this one had three bedrooms. As my grandad lived with us, he had the small bedroom and my brother and I shared a bedroom, eventually having a partition in the middle when we became too old to really share.
Now, I really appreciate the central heating and double glazing and instant hot water of my apartment with an amazing sea view, but I still think very fondly of that old house filled with love and laughter.
Fresh Start
Each day at the retreat we would start the morning with a swim in the loch, pictured above. The water was freezing cold, but the glow on your skin when you got out was unbelievable. Starting the day with a cold dip is exhilarating. The water was clear as a bell, the sky turning from navy to pink as the sun rose over the mountains. Taking a walk and swim before breakfast gives you the chance to clear your mind and meditate. We would walk down in silence to contemplate the coming day and appreciate the beauty around us.
There’s bargains in the soul
Treasures to behold
Now I know it’s true
From my retreat and view
Exploring the Self
Each day we would explore a different part of our being, each part bringing different surprises. Exploring my childhood brought back so many memories and explanations for different aspects of our personalities and personas.
My lifelong feeling of not being pretty was explained when I looked deeply at a photograph I had brought of a holiday with my mum, dad and brother. I was always tall and gangly, he was little and cute. He would win young Tarzan. I would win nothing as I towered above girls of my age. At the end of the holiday, my mum and dad bought me a doll for being ‘the best behaved girl on the holiday camp’, a prize that the redcoats presented to me. I never knew until many years later, when I became a Butlins redcoat myself, that there was no such prize. My mum and dad did it with the best of intentions but I was so embarrassed that it was all a sham.
Well, the higher up you go
The more that you know you can find
Like a memory that’s there
Stuck in the back of your mind
Symbols
One of the best new experiences I had at the retreat was a sound-bath experience. Before the sound-bath, we were asked to draw out our Native American cultural symbol from a pack of cards. I drew an eagle. I found this amazing as I’d had several encounters with eagles. The first was when on holiday travelling round the Isle of Skye in Scotland. We had taken the rugged mountain road rather than stick to the more popular coastal road round the island. Just as we rounded the bend there sat in all its glory, a huge golden eagle. The top of its head was almost as high as the car. Its wingspan, when it flew off, was 2.5 m or nearly 8 feet! We were mesmerized.
The eagle in native American culture represents strength, expansion, a higher perspective, loyalty, victory, power, foresight, vision and manifestation. Because they fly so high, they believe that eagles are the creature closest to the creator. Their dominant element of air draws attention to mental pursuits, inspiration, dreams and spiritual aspirations. In Christian art, the eagle often represents the resurrection of Christ because the sight of an eagle rising in flight is a powerful one.
My second encounter was at my brother’s wedding in America. The wedding was outside on the shores of a lake. Just as they were saying their vows, an American Bald Eagle circled overhead. The American eagle is a symbol of love, friendship, honour, bravery and mystical powers. I saw this as a good omen for them. For their first wedding anniversary, I did a couple’s passion map for them. Their guiding image was the lake at sunset with the elements of the map being drawn as clouds, a small boat, the setting sun and importantly an eagle.
There’s visions to behold
Treasures to unfold
Home away from home
From my retreat and view
Release
On the final evening of the retreat, we built a bonfire and sang songs round the fire. The final act was one of release. We each took a pen and a piece of paper and on it we wrote down everything negative that had ever happened in our lives. Before each sentence, we wrote the words ‘I FORGIVE’. The act of writing our forgiveness was cathartic in itself.
However, once we had all finished writing, we folded up the pieces of paper and, as a group threw them into the bonfire and watched one by one all our past hurts disappeared in a puff of smoke hopefully, never to haunt us again. This is a technique I’ve used with my coaching clients quite often to great effect. As you can imagine, after divorce, there’s a lot of hurt and pent-up anger. Asking them to write everything down then ritually burn it really helps them to release their feelings and, for many, it is the start of their healing.
There’s bargains of the soul
Treasures to behold
Some time to start anew
From my retreat and view
Overall, the retreat was a fabulous experience physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is something I am planning to do with my clients once lockdown is over to help them heal after their divorce and start the new journey to their new life.
Sue Palmer-Conn
Chartered Psychologist, Certified Master Health and Wellness Coach, Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach yadder, yadder yadder! Ok, so Ive got qualifications but it’s not that that makes me a great, not even a good, coach. I’ve got passion, curiosity, intuition. I’ve reinvented myself every time one of life’s challenges came and slapped me in the face. Now I love nothing more than witnessing the transformations of my clients when they realise there is a wonderful life after divorce, even after 50.
Sue Palmer-Conn
Chartered Psychologist, Certified Master Health and Wellness Coach, Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach yadder, yadder yadder! Ok, so Ive got qualifications but it’s not that that makes me a great, not even a good, coach. I’ve got passion, curiosity, intuition. I’ve reinvented myself every time one of life’s challenges came and slapped me in the face. Now I love nothing more than witnessing the transformations of my clients when they realise there is a wonderful life after divorce, even after 50.
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