When you follow the path of your heart, the flame of passion will light up your life. What is your true passion? What drives you to live fully from the heart?
Passion is the lightning that creates a spark
Living and working from a place of passion empowers you, and in turn, allows you to empower others. The sphere of influence of a good coach is much wider than just the person who is being coached. Coaching a manager will have a knock-on effect on colleagues and employees. Similarly, coaching a parent will influence their partner, children, family, colleagues etc.
However, making a living from coaching is more than just being passionate. Yes, you need passion but you also need expertise. You also need a niche that can afford and is willing to pay for your services. So how do you decide who and what to coach? The best advice I was given was that my niche is probably a younger version of me. So how did I decide who and what to coach?
Most of my adult life was spent in education; first teaching in secondary and primary schools, then in higher education. I had won numerous major awards for teaching and learning innovation but I knew deep down that was no longer my passion. Yes, I still love teaching but coaching up and coming academics? No, not for me. So, what else? I had overcome a serious autoimmune disease which actually led me to studying psychology as part of my ‘treatment’ planning. But I couldn’t guarantee that the path I had taken would work for other MS sufferers.
I got divorced at the age of 50, after 25 years of marriage. It came out of the blue, and I knew I had to get my life sorted to be able to afford to live, to rediscover who I truly was, and not let it define me. This filled me with passion – women over 50 going through divorce – at a time when they are also facing empty nest syndrome, menopause, may be caring for elderly parents or facing their own health problems. Women who really need a boost to show them that life is not over, there is a brighter future, and they can be whoever they choose to be.
You’ve gotta want it from the bottom of your heart
That was it. I completed an online ‘choose your niche’ quiz three times, answering truthfully but where there was more than one option that could apply, I chose a different option each time. However, each time it said ‘You should become a divorce coach’. At the time, I didn’t know such a thing existed.
I thought about all the changes I had brought about in my life to find success. This would point me to the road I had to follow full time as a post-retirement career. I had graduated from a great holistic health and wellness programme, but although I would use the material very effectively, I needed more to become a coach. I then completed a breakup and divorce programme but really this didn’t go into the depth I wanted. Don’t get me wrong – it would have enabled me to be a great breakup coach, but I didn’t feel it gave me the knowledge and expertise to be of the most help.
I then searched further afield and found a Certified Divorce Coach programme that was approved by the American Bar Association. This was it. I felt my passion surging and knew I could now help women walk down the path as their thinking partner. However, I felt I would have benefitted from having more expert support in the divorce recovery phase.
To this end, I have completed two other short programmes. One for helping people find their passion and purpose, Passion Mapping (Peter Wallman). The other was to help people find harmony and inner peace, Harmonizing Coaching (Dawn Breslin). These are now built into my FRESH start programme which I offer to professional women over 50 who have been recently divorced. This is my signature system and is the place where I want to spend most of my time. Yes, I still have clients who need to be supported during their divorce and the Eyes Wide Open programme helps them save time and money, reduce stress and conflict and build resilience and confidence but my heart is really in the FRESH start programme (Finding Passion and Purpose, Rebuilding Resilience, Embracing Emotions, Supercharging the Self-Concept, Harmonizing Holistic Health and Wellness) which women can follow at their own pace until they are ready to complete their metamorphosis.
To believe is a powerful thing
I am now at the stage of my life when most women are putting their feet up – but not me. I really and truly believe my true calling is yet to be fulfilled. Yes, I have made a difference to the lives of thousands of students over the years, helping them find their passions and live their dreams. But, the transformations I am seeing in my coaching clients make my heart sing. Seeing one lady going from snotty crying for the whole first session to buying a new house, joining a bodybuilding gym and competing in her first professional competition in less than six months is nothing short of a miracle. If I believe in myself, I can instill belief in my clients.
As the song title says ‘You Gotta Want it’. I want it so badly. It has cost me a small fortune in training, but I truly believe I’ve been called to do this for a purpose. To make such a difference to others and bring out the best in people – at a time when quite frankly, they might feel at their worst – is so rewarding. Helping people to reframe their negative beliefs, to define their dreams, and then give them the wherewithal to build and achieve these dreams is what I know I was meant to do. I just wish I’d had this level of knowledge and conviction many years ago, but then perhaps the time wasn’t right for me.
The programme is not yet perfect and probably won’t ever be but it’s done. Done is better than perfect. It starts with passion and is completed with belief. Believe in yourself, believe in the client, believe in the process is the mantra of my CDC programme. This is so true and a mantra we should all adopt in coaching.
Sue Palmer-Conn
Chartered Psychologist, Certified Master Health and Wellness Coach, Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach yadder, yadder yadder! Ok, so Ive got qualifications but it’s not that that makes me a great, not even a good, coach. I’ve got passion, curiosity, intuition. I’ve reinvented myself every time one of life’s challenges came and slapped me in the face. Now I love nothing more than witnessing the transformations of my clients when they realise there is a wonderful life after divorce, even after 50.
Sue Palmer-Conn
Chartered Psychologist, Certified Master Health and Wellness Coach, Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach yadder, yadder yadder! Ok, so Ive got qualifications but it’s not that that makes me a great, not even a good, coach. I’ve got passion, curiosity, intuition. I’ve reinvented myself every time one of life’s challenges came and slapped me in the face. Now I love nothing more than witnessing the transformations of my clients when they realise there is a wonderful life after divorce, even after 50.
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